I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
