She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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