Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
