I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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