Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
