in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
