Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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