Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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