this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
