so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We don't watch enough power rangers
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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