i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
