her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize