The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When are your genitals available?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
