I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
