Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
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He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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