i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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