she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
smell my finger.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize