she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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