I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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