So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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