so that wasnt chicken after all
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
