Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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