What a fucking waste of an outfit
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
