So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
