Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
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I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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