Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
this just has baby written all over it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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