In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
