I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
