I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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