He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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