so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
