Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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