In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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