i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
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I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
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do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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