peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you traded sex for a burrito?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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