people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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