and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
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they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
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Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize