Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
