she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
my liver is dry heaving
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
