i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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