Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
