I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
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