you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
