Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
