God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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