I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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