I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
