I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
