that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
