woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he laminated a picture of his dick.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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