At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You are the jesus of drinking
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
