you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
