Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Houston, we have a squirter
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
