i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
