last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
