also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
