SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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